Sactuary - freedom with solitude

It's nice to blog and kinda nice to know that noone reads anything I write here... There is sanctuary in the fact that this is my space - It's funny how scared we are of people finding out about us. I think it's a real reflection of just how scared we are of ourselves at times.

I've got God - and I am grabbing hold of his promises and holding them tightly. I'm finding that there is very little else that makes any sense at all. I'm scared for friends who are having hard times. I'm scared for myself with medical illnesses and impending tests which are freaking the crap out of me. I'm scared and worn out and don't really have much emotional energy left.

I feel like I have gone back to being the daggy kid in year 10. The one who never really gets seen; the one who noone really really cares that much about. I don't have a best friend - heck at the moment I struggle to have a close friend who I see more than once every blue moon. My best friend was my girlfriend (now ex) and our relationship makes absolutely zero sense right now. I don't do solitude well - I am capable of being a really solid guy when I have leg's on my table... but I just feel like I am floating in never never land at the moment.

Anyways - enough half finished phrases... I sound like a post match football player.

Current song: A certain Shade of Green - Incubus